We just arrived home from Green Bay after a week and a half stay. It was a challenge to take care of the kiddos at my parents big non-baby proofed house and daddy didn’t get there until the last couple of days so I am exhausted! I was in two weddings- well, I was a bridesmaid in one and sang in the other. It also happened to be Nick and my FIVE year wedding anniversary the same night as one of the weddings. Busy weekend to say the least.
The summer is breezing by way too quickly. I can’t believe it’s August and I’m feeling like it will be over before I can have a chance to savor the end of the summer. Jackson has started a swim camp at Foss and will begin regular weekly swimming lessons, preschool, and soccer in Sept. I am thinking about trying to get some baby/mommy swim lessons for Scarlett too- but a lot is on the plate as far as schedules go so I have to make good decisions. I just want to be able to spend some just mom and Scarlett time with her- especially before this new baby comes Feb.1st! Gosh- when I write it, it doesn’t seem that far away. At least I still have 25 weeks of just two babes to get prepared.
New at the Deutsch house- EXTREME temper tantrums. I am trying to discern whether or not all the traveling and being away from home and comfort have anything to do with it, but Jackson is challenging me (and by challenging me I mean, hitting, screaming, throwing his body on the ground, and refusing to leave or cooperate when we are out) almost daily. And these temper tantrums last for 40 minutes plus. I am not the spanking type but I am beginning to wonder if this boy might be the type of child that needs spankings… I am a believer that certain children are in need of that type of discipline, I just don’t think I would be any good at it, and in turn it would backfire. So far he has been loosing tv shows (he gets two UmiZoomi or two Diegos a day) and loosing books before bed (which actually makes me a little sad too.) He gets put in his room for time-out, looses any sort of treat or dessert for the day… but all of these things combined don’t seem to be actually stopping the behavior. And we have had some BIG ones. It is exhausting and embarrassing particularly in public settings. And it is also stressful to be worried that a tantrum may occur at any time. My friend J has suggested I rent a DVD called “Magic 123″ so I am going to check it out. I just am finding it hard to believe there may be something I haven’t tried already other than spankings. Any advice!! ? leave a comment if you have gone through the tantrum stage and come out unscathed. Pardon the pun 
August 10, 2010 at 8:36 pm |
Hey Britt – I just had an hour and a half long conversation with a friend the other day who is going through the EXACT same thing with her 3.5 year old daughter. She was completely losing her patience and needed some advice. Her situation is similar to yours too…lots of change in surroundings. By the end of August/beginning of September, their family will have moved 4 times. Also, over the course of the summer, they took trips across the country (from CT to CA, and CT to WI). I think it is just becoming too much for the kids, especially her older daughter. Once things cool down and they’re finally in their new house for good (hopefully), I’m guessing the tantrums will cool down too. I’ll keep you posted! Good luck!
August 10, 2010 at 10:05 pm |
Hi Brittany,
I don’t know why they call it the terrible two’s when it is truly the terrible three’s. My sweet baby’s all turned on me when they turned three. I loved the book Magic 123 and I probably still have it if you want to check it out. I never had to resort to spankings which is one of the options in the book.
August 11, 2010 at 12:07 am |
Hi Brittany,
I am going through the exact same situation. I have a 5 yr old Girl and and Three year old boy. My Five yr old never threw tantrums she was just more mouthy and Diva Like. But my Three yr old has the tantrums. I have tried everything from time outs to taking away toys to Spanking and nothing seems to work. I used to spank if the behavior called for it, a tap on the butt, but it didn’t seem to phase him. Then one night my husband and I were talking about what we should do and if spamking was the right thing for us. Here we r telling him not to hit others because it’s not nice and here we r spanking him. So what we do now is if he acts up he gets put in his room. I f we r out in public and he has a tantrum, i either ignore him and eventually he will calm down cause he relizes that acting that way will not get my attention. Or i take him to the bathroom for a firm talking and for him to wash is hands and take a lil break. Otherwise this is the age that they r trying to push how far they can get away with something. Don’t worry it will get better, it just takes some time. Good Luck and I hope my comment helps a lil.
Angela “Metoxen” Danforth
August 12, 2010 at 12:28 pm |
Oh Brit, my Emily was the EXACT same way. It got to the point where I didn’t want her to have play dates, take her to the park, go to birthday parties, just for the fear of what would happen when we left. I remember carrying her from the park near our house, dragging her bike and pushing Gus in the stoller while she screamed, kicked and hit me the entire way. She would carry on for well over an hour and a half! I actually started worrying she was bipolar!!!!We would take EVERYTHING away, It got so bad the poor kid actually had a dresser and a bed in her room, no toys, no nothing. I almost felt like I didn’t like her anymore which broke my heart, I knew I loved her, but I didn’t like her much. I tried the spanking, screaming, ….it didn’t work just made me feel like a bad mom, she’d stomp her foot, look up at me, say…that didn’t hurt and continue on. What did work however was… routine, and embarrassment. (she was a little older than J when this finally worked)For routine I have a sticker chart where the kids earn tickets, I have a poster board labeling which things they can earn tickets for and how many. 1 ticket for general chores like helping mama fold clothes (even if I have to re-do them) or picking up toys when its time to go I say….who wants to earn a ticket….and everyone even the neighbors start pitching in hahaha 2 tickets for going to bed the 1st time I ask….3 tickets for leaving without having a fit…etc. They each have little buckets that they decorated to save them in. They can cash them in whenever they want. 1 ticket buys an extra story at night. 2 tickets buys a movie to watch, 3 tickets gets a trip to the park..etc. make it however you would want. They can’t loose the tickets….only earn them for good behavior….this way I”m only rewarding when they are good. We also have red, yellow and green light at our house now that they are a bit older. Green light is when everything is good, kids can do what they way as long as they are being good. I have a green piece of paper in the windows of their rooms so the neighbor kids know when it is up that means they can play outside or have friends over, yellow is caution, it goes up when the kids are starting to be sassy….red is BAD! its grounding to their rooms, The neighbor kids also know that if red is in the window that their is no playing! I went around with the kids to explain it to the neighbor moms and kids (my kids were so embarrassed) I started it last year after I had Josephine (emily was a beast) Its been going strong all year and I’ve never had to put the red up, The mere mention of it makes Emily so embarrassed that she stops whatever she is doing. Hope it helps……Really though, I was in the same boat it will get better, just keep remembering you are doing the best you can…..and a little of it might just be payback hahahaha!
lovelove
kimberly
August 12, 2010 at 4:28 pm |
Age 3. No one tells parents about this phenomenon. They only talk about the “terrible twos” (which I never experienced with any of my four children). Maybe they don’t talk about the 3′s because every parent wants to FORGET all about it. It is the time where children start expressing themselves in a manner that we have never seen before. Here comes temper tantrums, talking back, extreme emotional outbursts, what else? I am in the middle of exactly what you are going through. The good news? It is my LAST child and I can remember that in time, this shall pass. They do eventually learn to use “words” to explain what is going on. How? Because when they go through these “events” I ask them to tell me what they are feeling. Partly because I want to SCREAM at them, so I chose to say, “Use words to tell me how you feel, not tears” OR “Use words to tell your brother to give him your truck back, not fists”. Somehow it kept me calm to say these words. I had many friends tease me because it sounds silly to tell a child to “talk about it”, but in the end I got results. Believe me, I know how you feel. I have gone through this with three other children and each one has somehow outgrown the 3′s. Since I am just entering this period with my youngest, I know I have a long road ahead but I now just warn everyone around us…..he is 3 and being 3 is HARD. Good luck surviving this exhausting experience! Just know that when you get through it…..you will feel so much stronger as a parent. You are being tested and you will PASS with flying colors!