Jackson gets his cast off!

*Jackson gets to watch three 5 minute youtube videos of old school Donald Duck in the morning before he goes to school. (He now has preschool twice a week in the mornings which he, and I, LOVE. )   He only gets his videos after he has had breakfast and changed into his clothes. This way I have time to quick put on some make-up before I have to dash out the door.  He woke up and wanted to watch his videos right away before changing or breakfast.  I told him no, and said that if he asked me again he would lose his videos all together.  He very calmly said, “Mom, you drive me crazy.”*

My happy news is that Jackson got his cast off on Wednesday!  I thought it would be a little more of a joyous occasion but unfortunately he was very upset and cried to practically the point of hysterics.   The doctor said it’s perfectly normal and that it was going to take time to rebuild the muscle and get flexibility in the elbow.  Right now it’s very stiff and he still holds it at his side like his cast is on.  Also- the emotional trauma of having it hurt so much the last time he didn’t have a cast on is  in his mind making him think it will still hurt to move it even if it really doesn’t.  The skin looked sort of scary too so when I covered it up he did much better. Lots of baths and sensitive skin lotion!  I think he will recover quickly.  I already noticed today that when he doesn’t think about it too much he uses it.   On to the not so good news….

On  Friday of last week I went in for my 20 week ultrasound!!! Half way done!  The OB at my follow-up (who isn’t my regular doctor) told me that everything looked good and they will have someone else read the ultrasound later but there isn’t any reason it should differ from the tech’s report.  Happy.  Well then I got a call Monday that the second reading showed that the bowel is “bright.”  The OB said to me on the phone, “Now, don’t panic because 9 times out of 10 nothing is wrong.  But we want you in for a level two ultrasound so they can see if there are any more indicators of diseases that affect the bowel.”  So naturally I say, “Okay, like what?”  “Cystic Fibrosis and  Down Syndrome.”

Don’t. Panic.  That’s actually sort of hilarious now that I think about it.  I have not only been panicking but I have actually been breaking into tears about every 15 minutes like it’s my job.  I have never had any unusual readings on an ultrasound and I have never had to have a “level two” ultrasound before.  So I figure even if it’s a precaution I can still panic.  I think it’s going to be difficult to take care of three kids ages three and under, I can’t imagine if one of them had Down Syndrome.   Talking to my mother unfortunately didn’t make me feel any better because when I said, “It’s highly unlikely that I would have a baby with Down Syndrome right? I mean, I just turned 29 isn’t it supposed to be a higher likelihood when you are over advanced maternal age?”  She said to me, “No.  Not necessarily. It happens to many people and it has nothing to do with something you did or didn’t do/ ate or didn’t eat.  It isn’t based on genetics or anything that they can find. It just happens.”  This does not make me feel in the slightest bit better. In fact it makes me feel so much worse that until I have my level two ultrasound and have someone tell me the baby is fine I may get worse and worse with the crying every 15 minutes and the imagining all of the worst things that can possibly happen.  By the way this ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow.  I am praying a lot and I have a short temper with my husband and my kids.  But I’m also hugging and kissing my kids a ton and telling them I love them over and over again. I think Jackson is ready to smack me. I keep looking at them and thinking, there is no way I could get another normal, healthy, happy kid.  It’s just TOO awesome.  I can’t possibly keep getting blessings like this.  How am I worthy?!

Anyway, I ask you again, to pray for us.  Also if anyone has a story about an ultrasound that scared the hell out of them, feel free to post a comment.

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