Thank you Lord!

October 1, 2010

I went to my level two ultrasound today and everything was absolutely fine!  God answered my prayers and I have never felt so overjoyed in my life.  To know the baby is healthy is the most important thing and I no longer care about how busy I will be with three kids so close together.  I am just thankful that I have these beautiful blessings and they are all  healthy.  Thank so much to everyone who prayed for us and kept us in their thoughts.  The future is looking bright!!! 🙂

I am going on a girls weekend to Naples FL with my best girlfriends and I am so excited to have a little time to relax.   My girls and I are trying to have one girls trip a year and this year is particularly fun because my friend’s parents have a house in Naples so we get to take advantage and we don’t have to pay for staying there!  It has been a long time since I could get away since I have basically been pregnant or nursing for the past 3 years (which makes it particularly difficult to get away!)  I am looking forward to some down time in the warm sun.  Can’t wait!

Jackson gets his cast off!

October 1, 2010

*Jackson gets to watch three 5 minute youtube videos of old school Donald Duck in the morning before he goes to school. (He now has preschool twice a week in the mornings which he, and I, LOVE. :))   He only gets his videos after he has had breakfast and changed into his clothes. This way I have time to quick put on some make-up before I have to dash out the door.  He woke up and wanted to watch his videos right away before changing or breakfast.  I told him no, and said that if he asked me again he would lose his videos all together.  He very calmly said, “Mom, you drive me crazy.”*

My happy news is that Jackson got his cast off on Wednesday!  I thought it would be a little more of a joyous occasion but unfortunately he was very upset and cried to practically the point of hysterics.   The doctor said it’s perfectly normal and that it was going to take time to rebuild the muscle and get flexibility in the elbow.  Right now it’s very stiff and he still holds it at his side like his cast is on.  Also- the emotional trauma of having it hurt so much the last time he didn’t have a cast on is  in his mind making him think it will still hurt to move it even if it really doesn’t.  The skin looked sort of scary too so when I covered it up he did much better. Lots of baths and sensitive skin lotion!  I think he will recover quickly.  I already noticed today that when he doesn’t think about it too much he uses it.   On to the not so good news….

On  Friday of last week I went in for my 20 week ultrasound!!! Half way done!  The OB at my follow-up (who isn’t my regular doctor) told me that everything looked good and they will have someone else read the ultrasound later but there isn’t any reason it should differ from the tech’s report.  Happy.  Well then I got a call Monday that the second reading showed that the bowel is “bright.”  The OB said to me on the phone, “Now, don’t panic because 9 times out of 10 nothing is wrong.  But we want you in for a level two ultrasound so they can see if there are any more indicators of diseases that affect the bowel.”  So naturally I say, “Okay, like what?”  “Cystic Fibrosis and  Down Syndrome.”

Don’t. Panic.  That’s actually sort of hilarious now that I think about it.  I have not only been panicking but I have actually been breaking into tears about every 15 minutes like it’s my job.  I have never had any unusual readings on an ultrasound and I have never had to have a “level two” ultrasound before.  So I figure even if it’s a precaution I can still panic.  I think it’s going to be difficult to take care of three kids ages three and under, I can’t imagine if one of them had Down Syndrome.   Talking to my mother unfortunately didn’t make me feel any better because when I said, “It’s highly unlikely that I would have a baby with Down Syndrome right? I mean, I just turned 29 isn’t it supposed to be a higher likelihood when you are over advanced maternal age?”  She said to me, “No.  Not necessarily. It happens to many people and it has nothing to do with something you did or didn’t do/ ate or didn’t eat.  It isn’t based on genetics or anything that they can find. It just happens.”  This does not make me feel in the slightest bit better. In fact it makes me feel so much worse that until I have my level two ultrasound and have someone tell me the baby is fine I may get worse and worse with the crying every 15 minutes and the imagining all of the worst things that can possibly happen.  By the way this ultrasound is scheduled for tomorrow.  I am praying a lot and I have a short temper with my husband and my kids.  But I’m also hugging and kissing my kids a ton and telling them I love them over and over again. I think Jackson is ready to smack me. I keep looking at them and thinking, there is no way I could get another normal, healthy, happy kid.  It’s just TOO awesome.  I can’t possibly keep getting blessings like this.  How am I worthy?!

Anyway, I ask you again, to pray for us.  Also if anyone has a story about an ultrasound that scared the hell out of them, feel free to post a comment.


September 9, 2010

Jackson is now officially in the “home stretch.”   We went to our appointment yesterday morning and sure enough the x-ray showed that J’s arm was ready to have the pins taken out.  Now, what baffles me (though I much prefer it to having to put him under again) is that they do this right in the office, in front of him, with no pain meds or even distractions of any sort.  I sat next to him as they took his cast off and as they unwrapped to reveal these large silver pins sticking out of his elbow. He started to freak out. He was panicking and sort of yelling, “What is that?! Why is that in my arm?!”  The first pin (wouldn’t you know it) was pretty stuck.  So they were tugging on it with this pliers and Jackson started crying and wincing.  Once the pin finally came out- blood started to ooze out of the opening.  Luckily the second pin was much easier to pull out and he started to calm down immediately after she covered the pin sights and left the room to give us a minute.  I explained it the best  I could and told J that now he had nothing in his arm but his own strong healing bone and that this next cast (he picked green this time) was going to be his LAST one and when it was time for this one to come off- no pins would be there, and we could work on strengthening his arm until it was just like his other one.  That seemed to make him feel better.

So we are on our way!  Three weeks and he will get this cast off and begin physical therapy.  As of now the Doctor tells me his therapy will just consist of me doing certain exercises with him and working on regaining his mobility and strength. After about four weeks of that he will go back in to be assessed and see if he needs anymore “drastic” measures as far as therapy goes.  I am hoping he just bounces back like the strong wonderful active kid I know he is. Thank you all again for your prayers and thoughts! Soon this can be a distant memory! 🙂

Our journey continues…

September 7, 2010

We went to the follow-up with the surgeon on Friday thinking Jackson would be getting his “soft” cast off, getting the pins out, and finally getting his waterproof, will-work-with-the-swimming-lessons-we-have-coming-up, last and final CAST. But alas- no.  The surgeon saw some new bone but he didn’t feel comfortable taking the pins out just yet.  So we are going back on Wed. (tomorrow) and he assures me that Jackson will have the pins out, his last cast put on and we will be on our way for three to four more weeks.

Throughout this process I have been truly amazed to learn a little bit more about how our bodies heal themselves as far as bone growth and repair.  I think it is incredible that new bone just starts to form and harden creating a strong and healthy bone and it only takes weeks and immobilization.  I thank God that Jackson is starting to feel much better and using his hand more.  It will be hard to prepare myself for what his little atrophied arm will look like once they take the final cast off- considering he will have had his arm immobilized for 8 weeks or more.  It will be a long process before he is using it normally but I know we just have to be patient and it will all be behind us.

Hoping all goes well tomorrow!

What can we do now?

August 31, 2010

Air conditioner fixed!  Genz-Ryan did such an awesome job that it’s almost too cold in here today 😉 Now- WHAT can we do for the next few days until J get’s his hard cast?!  I have been racking my brain for more “non-physical” activities but we have exhausted the library and board games, watched way too much TV and we almost always have to stay inside so Jackson doesn’t start sprinting across the driveway when he feels the outside air.  Give me ideas!!!

Seriously? The air conditioner?

August 30, 2010

So- quick update- reporting from “we are all miserable because it’s 90 degrees in our house.”  Our air conditioner decided to stop working yesterday.  The END of the summer, but yet, not before we have a couple more 90 degree high humidity days.  Greeeaaat.  J still has his soft cast and can’t get wet- so we are waiting in our ridiculously hot house for the person to come and fix it, which isn’t until between 2pm and 6pm!!!! 😦  I have to stop and remind myself that it is going to be very cold for a very long time very soon.  This too shall pass! 🙂

THANKS for the prayers!

August 28, 2010

Jackson did very well in surgery.  It was difficult to see him afterward because he was loopy from the meds and very upset and scared since he had no idea what really went on.  But he got a lot of ice cream and popsicles and the staff at Children’s hospital were wonderful.  Putting him “under” was very emotional and I cried after I put his little floppy body on the table and walked out of the OR.  I really hope  he (and I) never have to go through something like this again.  But, as my friends have said before, he’s a boy and if he plays hockey, football etc. I might as well get used to injuries. 😦

A couple of rough nights have gone by but I truly feel optimistic FINALLY.  The worst part seems to be over.  I think he is going to heal pretty quickly now and he has swimming lessons coming up in Sept which the Dr. says will be great for physical therapy to get his mobility back.  The important thing is, we have done all we can so that he will heal correctly and hopefully not have any problems with this arm in the future.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.  We are so blessed to have amazing people in our lives to help us through the hard times.  More on J and the fam to come!  I can’t believe summer is almost over!

Jackson’s broken arm…

August 24, 2010

Before the bad news, just a quick little uplifting anecdote! *Jackson and Scarlett were in the car and we were headed to a friend’s house in Edina.  There wasn’t any traffic so when I took the on ramp to 62 I sort of sailed around the corner kind of quickly.  Jackson said, “Whoa…. Good job mommy.”*

So the nightmare began a couple of weeks ago.  I was doing a shoot and dropped Jackson off at a friend’s and Scarlett off at a different friend’s house.   I figured that way they would be split up and it would be easier for each of the friends I had called on to take care of them.  The shoot went longer than expected and I showed up to the friend who had Scarlett right after she had put her down for her nap.  I knew she needed a nap (she has been transitioning to one nap a day already at 14 months- my children hate sleep, what can I do- and so I knew she needed to get at least one really good nap in.  I phoned the friend who had J and let her know I would be a while.  She said it was no problem because they were just about to have a little play date and a couple of mutual friends were showing up with their kids.  Great.  No problem.  Be there in a bit.

About an hour later I got a phone call and my friend sounded a little upset.  I could hear Jackson crying in the background.  She said he and a couple of the kids were sort of jumping off the end of the couch.  J jumped first and a bigger boy jumped and maybe ended up bumping Jackson.  He was complaining that his arm hurt-  even 20 minutes after the incident, and he wouldn’t move it at all.  I started to panic a little because I’m a panicky person when it comes to my children and injury.  I left immediately and called Nick to go pick up Scarlett right after she woke up from her nap.  When I got there Jackson’s arm looked definitely wrong to me.  It was very swollen, he would move it at all, and when I tried to touch it he started freaking out.  So I knew something was truly wrong but I was still hoping for a sprain… something not too serious.

I took him to his pediatrician first but they couldn’t even get him to move his arm at all for an x-ray.  They ended up getting one x-ray and told us to take him to the ER. “Likely broken.”  Fantastic.

We show up to Children’s ER at about 8:45pm.  Jackson was taken to get x-rays and Nick went with him because I couldn’t (since I am pregnant.)   I stood outside of the x-ray room bawling my eyes out as Jackson screamed like they were stabbing him while they maneuvered his arm to get three or four x-rays.  He kept saying, “Why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me?!”  I couldn’t stop crying, I was already an emotional wreck from the beginning and being pregnant makes things even more ridiculous when it comes to emotions.

We waited in the room for quite some time until they came back and told us his humerus (large bone above the elbow)  is broken and would need a splint for 5 to 7 days and then a cast for likely 3 to 4 weeks. Since we were not yet talking to an orthopedic doctor we had little information and didn’t get to look at the x-rays at all. A nurse put J’s arm in a splint and we were off to wait for the enormous amount of swelling to go down before the cast could go on.  Jackson didn’t sleep that night- even with the narcotic pain meds they gave us for him.

After a couple of days he seemed to be doing a bit better and we were scheduled to get his cast on Tuesday (last week.)  When we went in the Pediatric Orthopedic surgeon told us his elbow was slightly rotated, but he was going to put the cast on and take some more x-rays to see what the next step may be.  Next step?  You mean we don’t just get to let him heal now?  The nightmare continues.  He tells us to schedule a follow up appt. with another specialist, since he happens to be retiring in a couple of days, and have him advise us on the next steps to take.

We go BACK the next day to Children’s- this time in St. Paul,  to yet another specialist $$$ and he tells us his advice is to schedule SURGERY for next week to get his elbow rotated back in line where it should be, pins put in, a new cast on, pins taken out a couple of weeks later, and yet another cast put on for another couple of weeks.  Now- see what we did right here? We just added about another month to recovery, put my baby under anesthesia for surgery at THREE years of age, and added yet another dimension to the amount of money we would be spending for this whole ordeal.  Not to mention putting Jackson back at square one for pain and recovery.  The alternative that it may not heal correctly and he could forever have a problem with that arm is obviously too grave for us to risk.  So surgery it is. Tomorrow.

I am a nervous wreck.  I have felt sick to my stomach for the past couple of days and had my first real anxiety attack last night while lying awake in bed.  I couldn’t breathe.  I am praying and crying a lot.  Jackson has no clue that they will be back in major pain- after finally running around and happy now that his cast has been on and his arm is starting to heal.  My arthritis is flaring from the stress and I have not the slightest clue what I am going to do with Scarlett for the next couple of days while Jackson is back to being very needy. Very simply and immaturely put, this SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.  Please pray for my son.  I will check back in when things settle down.

August and tantrums

August 10, 2010

  We just arrived home from Green Bay after a week and a half stay.  It was a challenge to take care of the kiddos at my parents big non-baby proofed house and daddy didn’t get there until the last couple of days so I am exhausted! I was in two weddings- well, I was a bridesmaid in one and sang in the other.  It also happened to be Nick and my FIVE year wedding anniversary the same night as one of the weddings.  Busy weekend to say the least.

  The summer is breezing by way too quickly.  I can’t believe it’s August and I’m feeling like it will be over before I can have a chance to savor the end of the summer.  Jackson has started a swim camp at Foss and will begin regular weekly swimming lessons, preschool, and soccer in Sept. I am thinking about trying to get some baby/mommy swim lessons for Scarlett too- but a lot is on the plate as far as schedules go so I have to make good decisions.  I just want to be able to spend some just mom and Scarlett time with her- especially before this new baby comes Feb.1st!  Gosh- when I write it, it doesn’t seem that far away.  At least I still have 25 weeks of just two babes to get prepared.

  New at the Deutsch house- EXTREME temper tantrums.  I am trying to discern whether or not all the traveling and being away from home and comfort have anything to do with it, but Jackson is challenging me (and by challenging me I mean, hitting, screaming, throwing his body on the ground, and refusing to leave or cooperate when we are out) almost daily.  And these temper tantrums last for 40 minutes plus.  I am not the spanking type but I am beginning to wonder if this boy might be the type of child that needs spankings… I am a believer that certain children are in need of that type of discipline, I just don’t think I would be any good at it, and in turn it would backfire. So far he has been loosing tv shows (he gets two UmiZoomi or two Diegos a day) and loosing books before bed (which actually makes me a little sad too.)  He gets put in his room for time-out, looses any sort of treat or dessert for the day… but all of these things combined don’t seem to be actually stopping the behavior.  And we have had some BIG ones. It is exhausting and embarrassing particularly in public settings. And it is also stressful to be worried that a tantrum may occur at any time. My friend J has suggested I rent a DVD called “Magic 123” so I am going to check it out.  I just am finding it hard to believe there may be something I haven’t tried already other than spankings.  Any advice!! ? leave a comment if you have gone through the tantrum stage and come out unscathed.  Pardon the pun 😉

Our big trip to Canada!!!

July 19, 2010

We arrived home from our ten day stay in Calgary and it has been WORK to get back into the swing of our everyday lives!  It was such an amazing time, and there was something to do every single day we were there- which was so awesome and all due to my cousin’s fantastic planning.  The flights went pretty well so I no longer have a strong fear of bringing my kids somewhere on a plane.  They did a great job except for some minor restlessness, and a ridiculously stupid amount of time to go through US customs with Scarlett screaming for the blankie they tore away to put through the scanner thingy. I gave the guy this incredulous look and he was all, “Okay, let’s get that blanket through as quickly as possible.”

We took a road trip to Banff, which is absolutely gorgeous by the way, and had lunch at the famous Banff Springs Hotel- which was amazing and I didn’t want to stop eating- no surprise there.  We picked up some pretty awesome maple fudge. My cousin says that it is hands down the best fudge and “regular” fudge doesn’t even compare… I tend to agree.  And the kids did everything from go on trains and rides, to winning prizes at Stampede, to huge birthday parties with blow up bouncy houses, to the Calgary Zoo.  They had a great time.  I could tell they were a little upset to leave and it was almost as if Scarlett had just decided, “Okay, I guess we live here now. No problem, I love this dog and I’ve gotten used to my new room!”

It was such an awesome experience and so great to see my family.  My Aunt Terri even outfitted Jackson in a cowboy hat and boots and my cousin Michelle got some AWESOME girl cowboy boots for Scarlett! P.S. I got some awesome cowboy boots too (happy birthday to me!) A very successful trip overall.  Here are my quick traveling tips from this experience.

Number 1.  Even though cumbersome and seemingly unnecessary bring a lot of books/activities to keep your children occupied while flying- even if you think they are going to sleep because it’s a late flight… Scarlett doesn’t sleep on planes. That is her cardinal rule apparently.

Number 2. If you are about to go through U.S. customs, make sure everyone has gone potty/had a diaper change, been fed, and have a distraction of some sort.  I really didn’t think we would stand in line for two hours coming home from Canada… I am surprised by something everyday.

Number 3. When arriving at your destination explain to your kids that for the next X amount of days this will be their area/room/bed and try to thoroughly introduce them to their new surroundings.  When we got in late and just threw Scarlett into a pack n’ play she’s never been in, in a room she’s never been in she screamed bloody murder all night. However, once we introduced her to the space and the house she went right down for all naps and bed like an angel. 🙂

Now it’s on to the next few crazy weeks of traveling for commercial work in Iowa, heading to Wisconsin to be in TWO weddings in one weekend, and more birthdays and BBQs!  Hope you are enjoying your summer!


Our families hanging out in the mountains!

Jackson makes a friend at the Dinosaur park

Two cowboys and a cowgirl at Stampede!


Cousins- by marriage! 🙂

Suri and Scarlett enjoy some lunch